Diagnostics Completed

So sorry; me been gone for rong time. Wow. I must say, this has been a very good and enlightening discussion. Thank you to all who took time to comment and post about this topic. I feel compelled to make a few last remarks before closing this topic. To Alana: thank you for your comments especially. What you stated seems to capture exactly what I'm thinking about this whole thing. It was never my intent to come off as accusing and un-compassionate. I merely think that the world as a whole gives in much more frequently to their emotions than is truly Good, and then wind up in the pit of despair (said in a Princess Bride voice) and society, rather than turn to God and Church, prefers to medicate rather than seek the truth. In many cases, the truth may be that an individual's brain has an imbalance of chemicals, and therefore needs medication to help a soul in distress. This should never be seen as a bad or evil thing. I am thankful for medical science being able to help those that truly need help. Besides the main purpose of this post (to seek out truth and other opinions) my driving point/opinion in all of this has been that I believe our world is caught up in the sin of running from pain. We live in a pleasure driven culture that seeks all selfishness and despises sacrifice and asceticism. The key to being free from painful thoughts and feelings, guilt and shame, is to simply "take something" or "drink something" that will pacify what feels wrong. We all know about that big empty hole in our hearts that aches to be filled. Unfortunately, modern opinion would be to fill it with everything but Christ, which in the end is no new lie. "Nothing new under the sun..." As fallen human beings, we often operate on the "pain/pleasure principle." I spoke to the campers about this at St. John's camp this year. With Believers, this has to stop. Jesus did not operate on this principle. He never stayed where he was wanted, and he never hurried away from where he wasn't wanted. He did what the Father asked of Him in all things, and I believe that we are called to do the same. We go neither towards pleasure or away from pain. Besides, many times what I perceive to be pleasure, and then go for it, turns out to be gold covered dirt anyway. As Solomon says, it's like chasing the wind; all is vanity. May God give us the grace to follow His commandments and not our own selfishness!

Diagnostics? cont...

More on the subject of depression...Hmmm...good questions. Good comments James and Joel. (See Comments: Diagnostics?) Much to chew on. As for the questions from a certain short neighbor...

Not being anything near an authority on the subject, I think that persistent, recurring unhappiness would be depression, yes. I think I'd say that feeling "blue" would also fall into that category. I'm not sure where you're going with asking what we want out of life, but if this is also a contributing factor to depression, then, hmmm... no I'm not quite sure yet what I want or what God asks of me (or Janna and I) right now. I think this can lead to a spirit of discontent, but I would seperate that from depression.

I think that all of these feelings; blue, sad, discontentment, and being unsure of what you want, are definately signs of being depressed. However, what human being doesn't have days or perhaps even lots of days like this? I even made a previous post about being depressed because I was lonely here in the woods, yet a few days later I was better. My spiritual father says that many times, depression and all those feelings I described, can be attributed to the "unknown-ness" that lay ahead. I especially like to know what's coming, and I don't like anything messing with my life and changing things around. Rather that letting God guide me, I'd rather that He tell me what the rest of my life is gonna be. (Where's the fun in that, eh?) But I can seperate the "blue" days from the "grey" and those from the happy days. Despite having depressing days, I can honestly say that everyday, I smile and find much to be thankful for and happy about. Doesn't mean I'm done whining or being depressed. Fr. Schmemann wrote in his journals about dealing with a depressed woman. He says, "Yesterday I had a long pastoral talk with a woman in deep depression." He lists some of the reasons for her depression and then says this, "Total darkness, a state of blasphemy. While we were talking I felt quite clearly the demonic character of a depression. I felt her acceptance, willing acceptance of blasphemy. I felt also the weakness and inadequacy of psychiatry and psychoanalysis. There is no way that they can drag people out of this darkness 'if the light that is in you is darkness...' I told her; you can do only one thing, renounce blasphemy, eject yourself out of this lie, this surrender. You cannot do more, but this is the beginning."

I think that this is precisely where I'm coming from. As I stated before, I would not assume to ever "diagnose" anyone properly, as I do believe that there are people with chemical imbalances. I simply think that they are not as plentiful as we would be made to believe. I think James is absolutely right in saying that many times it is about feelings: "I think people in our society today are terrorized by their feelings. There is the unwritten rule that you should follow your feelings regardless of the consequences, and I think people are often shocked to find out that following their feelings doesn't produce the results they want." The woman with whom Father Alexander spoke, put in todays context, would most likely have been told that she was severly depressed and needed medication. Rather than being told that, "Hey, you are loved and despite all the pain in your life, God is still just as present now as he ever was." she gets medicated. Can this really help her? Is it really "loving" her to give her candy when what she needs is much more? What happens when she wants to go off the medicine? Will she again slide into a depressed state, and perhaps be worse off than before, becuase the root of the problem was not addressed? It just seems to me that, as per the cultural norm, the answer is to shut off the bad feelings and go after the good. Everyone wants to be happy, but so many seem to be unable to be genuinely happy. I talk to so many people (and fight it in myself) who seem to feel constantly alone. This, I believe, more than anything is at the root of many evils and depression. In our Western, individualistic society, we have fooled ourselves into believing that "I don't need anybody. I can use them when I do, but I will decide the course of MY life....etc." Again people, I'm not saying that I fully understand all of this, just that I have some opinions, and I am open to learning more. I have several very good, close friends who are on meds, and in no way are my questions an attack on them, merely an opportunity for growth and understanding. Again, let me know what you think!

Diagnostics?

Ok. Here's a question for y'all. In asking this, I'm well aware that some of you may very well be the object of my inquiry, but so be it. Hopefully you will have a good response. My wife and I were talking about depression and modern diagnosis of the condition. It seems that every time we watch T.V. we can hardly avoid a commercial asking if we have "these symptoms," and if so, we should consider seeking medical help because we very well could be depressed; which can be none other than a chemical imbalance and we are in need of expensive medication. The medication, of course, is readily available by the pharmaceutical company that paid to air the commercial during prime time. Now on to the next part...

While in New Hampshire recently (see previous post) one of the other two graduates at J.D.'s ceremony spoke of being depressed. All three of the graduates were asked to prepare a 10-15 minute speech about what life at the Mansion had been like, and how God had worked in them the past year. Karl (the one to whom I'm referring) spoke about a life of drugs and depression. When he arrived at the Mansion (which by the way is not a rehab facility; they accept no one who does not come willingly, and while the "students" must stay at the mansion while in the program, they are free to leave at any time. Back to Karl...) he was on meds for depression. He spoke of being consistently tired during work, barn chores, prayer & share time, and study times. Most of the time, he had to be propped up or kept awake by his peers and mentors. He spoke of praying to God to help him with this, and after some time, decided that he needed to cease taking the meds and attempt to live "drug free" with the help of God. He then stated that after only a few days off of the anti-depressants, he felt more awake, full of vigor, and happier than he had in a long time. He's been off them for months now, and has said that he was depressed, and still gets depressed because of a cycle of guilt and shame and unrepentance in his life. He said, "A lifestyle of sin, distrust, and shame; yeah, that'll make you depressed. That'll give you psychological issues. But the love of Jesus sets you free to hope and remember that you are loved despite your ugliness."

So, the question goes...While I am aware that there are people who TRULY do have a chemical imbalance and are in need of medication, where does/should the line get drawn? I see and know more and more people who are suddenly being diagnosed as "depressed" and are on Zoloft or Prozac. In many cases, these are Christians. Before I get a comment on it, no, I'm not a cultitst that believes that Christians should avoid medication because "Jesus heals all things if we just have enough faith to claim the healing..." I just don't think that it's the fact that "medical science" can now help more people to be properly diagnosed and then medicate that. I see our society as a whole slipping down the tubes, and a big part of that is the refusal to accept consequences for our actions, and hence the over-medication of the general population. The worst part of it is that children are not left out. There are more kids on Prozac, Zoloft, and Ritalin now that there ever have been in the past. SO, what do you say people? I'm eager to hear your responses.

New Hampshire

Welll, it's been a week since I've posted, but for good reason. I returned on Fri. from a trip to New Hampshire to see J.D. Curry graduate from His Mansion Ministries, after a year long stay there. The whole trip was beautiful and so full of light and grace. I'm having a hard time finding words that will do the whole trip justice, but I'll try. God is truly amazing and so full of love for His creation. First of all, as a report, J.D. is doing great. He has a peace about him that I haven't seen for many years, and his willingness to accept his own mistakes and limitations is astounding and also a blessing. I was honored to be there for his graduation, and amazed at the love bestowed on me and Jim and Susie by the staff there at His Mansion. I commented to Janna after I returned, that one can always tell when you are in the presence of true believers. Jesus said that "the world will know (them) by (their) love." This is precisely what I experience that truly reaches into that inner place in my heart and burns with love returned. I can't imagine anything more pleasing to God that when His servants love one another. It makes no difference whether we are Protestant, Roman Catholic, or Orthodox, the love of God is the thing we need to show to each other and the world. It was this love and acceptance that above all things made me feel welcome and also seemed to transcend the veil that the world casts on life, and for a brief shining instance you see REAL life; more alive and vibrant than you ever dreamed possible.

The rest of the the trip can be summed up by one experience...summiting Mt. Washington. Mt. Washington is 6, 300 ft. tall, and is the highest point in the Northeast. We left His Mansion in the fog and rain, and it was a two hour drive to Mt. Washington. J.D. really wanted to go and stand there one last time before he left. He had hiked over it twice before during his Appalachian Trail days. I'm sure there is a special connection there for him. Anyway, we left and drove up there, already expecting the worst, as it was a crummy day. We arrived at the special access road to the top and the Ranger informed us that, not only was it very expensive to go up, but visibility at the top was only 50 feet. We all glanced up the mountain to see the top 1/3 covered in clouds. Well, here's the kicker; I knew how much this trip meant to J.D., and I also really wanted to see off the top of the mountain, so I prayed for a good portion of the trip; giving thanks to God for everything, and also praying for friends and family, etc. One of the things I asked the Lord was that he let the sun shine for just one hour so that J.D. would have this one last gift before he left for Alaska. Well, God never disappoints. Lo and behold, we got 2/3 up the side of the mountain, and all of the clounds parted and the sun came out full force. The entire hour we spent hiking around the summit, the sun stayed out and the winds died down. As soon as we got in the car and began heading back down the mountain, the clouds and fog rolled in and the sun disappeared. One of the scientists that staff the weather stations on the mountain, commented to us about how rare the weather was. He said that they get about 3 really clear days a year there, and this was really odd. Alleluia! Thanks be to God for the gift of sunlight! Well, needless to say, I was amazed, and then I felt ashamed. I hadn't really believed that God would do it. I felt like, "Why would he clear up the sky just for my stupid prayer?" Lord have mercy. Of course He did it. He did it because I asked. No pride, no hidden agendas, just a simple request. Why do I ever doubt that perfect love? Wow.

Well, needless to say, it was an amazing trip. There's so much more I could say, but words would never do it justice. I can only describe the way the dew looked on that green grass, and the way the fog hung like a shroud on the mountainside there at the Mansion. However, this doesn't equate to seeing it with your own eyes, and feeling it in your soul. God is indeed full of amazing grace, and the beauty of His Creation is more than I can bear sometimes. It breaks my heart with a longing for that new earth that will never pass away. I sincerely hope that C.S. Lewis is right in "The Last Battle" of the Chronicles of Narnia, when he descibes how the New Narnia (New Earth) "looked just like the old one, only more so." Rich Mullins has a song lyric that goes, "No one ever tells you when you get born here, how much you'll come to love it but how you'll never belong here." Yeah, that's about it. Just as on the top of the mountain, looking out over all that beauty that God made, I'll ever cry, EVEN SO LORD JESUS, COME QUICKLY!